Sometimes I have a strong desire to pack all my things into my 1999 Honda Accord, give all the rest of my material possessions away and just drive as if there is no end in sight. As if there is no impending rapture and the sunrise and sunset are the only things that keep me grounded. I have that desire right now, to go to the ocean and inhale intoxicating salty air, to drive north and see the concrete jungle of NYC, then head further to Boston and drink a pint with a 3 generation Irishman, and head across the Midwest cross into Canada, settle safely back into the Rockies and learn how to snowboard in Utah, settle my toes back into the coast line of the Pacific Northwest, and drink a pint in a 1930's resort built on top of Mt. Hood, or stand mere miles away for the tormented Mt. Saint Helen's again, travel down the coast and run across the San Francisco Bay Bridge, gamble away a $1000 in Las Vegas, and buy a turquoise bracelet in a market on the side of the road from the Navajo Indians and watch a pow-wow in awe. Eat tacos in Texas and craw-fish in Louisiana. Talk to Elvis in Memphis and eat a peach in Georgia. And after I make my way back to Raleigh in solemn slumber, park my car and hop on a train to Newark, fly across the ocean and get lost in the beauty of Europe.
I have spent half of my life trying not be complacent with things, yet that is exactly what I have done. I became complacent. I have traveled so little that I have yet to have a need to a passport nor do I even know where my birth certificate is to obtain one. I have only been to the NC mountains twice and i live 5 hours away, barely been past Myrtle Beach and except for one trip to Alabama and one to Florida, the only thing I know below the Mason Dixon line is VA and NC and never been above it. Did I somewhere in my fear of commitment, and fear of bearing hurt again, make me completely complacent in my current surroundings because that is where I feel comfortable, where I feel safe. Am I terrified of leaving Raleigh because I am scared of what the rest of the world truly holds. Is it not as vibrant and glamorous as I have made myself believe it is.
There is a giant world that I have barely made my mark in.
And maybe sometimes we all get a little lost along the way.....
